Monday, March 12, 2012

Something Different

This past weekend I decided to do something different.

Where do buses go? I wondered.

I didn't have long to wonder, because soon I found myself on a moving vehicle. And so began my journey out of the Capitol of the World to visit the Capitol of the Nation--Washington, D.C.

Here is a picture from the front of the bus:

After a pleasant and long-ish bus ride, I arrived in D.C. It was then that I realized that everything I knew about the city I had learned from The Simpsons. And although I did learn more in those 22 minutes of television than I probably have in most of the rest of my life, I didn't know what I was going to do, or where I was going to do it, or how I was going to get there once I decided where it was I was going. However, I am from New York, so I figured I would figure it out.

And I did.

Here is a picture of part of a bike I stole:

(Ok, I rented it, but don't tell anyone because I want people to think I'm badass enough to have stolen a bike.)

After I stole my stolen bike, I rode around the city long time--where there are like no bike laws. You can ride on the sidewalk, or in the street, or in the street and on the sidewalk in a parade. I know this because I did all those things and there were police everywhere and no one arrested me. (But they also didn't know I was a bike-stealing criminal.)

So then I saw some things and took some pictures of them.

Here are some things that I saw that I took pictures of:

There was supposed to be a lake here ^ but it had disappeared. (A sign said it was "closed for renovation", but I'm pretty sure it was just the work of David Copperfield.)

As you can see, D.C. is pretty nice and not grungy at all like I had expected. However, I did think it was a very strange place because there were kids there. Like, just existing! Like, there were kids just existing all over the place! Which is totally weird! Whenever I see a kid in NYC, my first reaction is to assume they're a midget or just a very short person.

So anyway, there's this thing that's a Cherry Blossom Festival thing, which apparently is a big thing that I'd never heard about. And anyway, lots of people apparently come to this thing when it happens, but when I was there, no one was there for the cherry blossoms because the festival wasn't happening yet. Which begs the question: if a cherry blossom tree blooms and no one is around to see it... uh... well, I think I started that question wrong. Anyway, the answer is yes.

Like here:

And here:

*Note: above pictures can also be used as examples of pretty nice lampposts.

I decided I had enough bike riding, so I decided to go to the National Museum of Air and Space. Which was basically the best museum in the history of ever for someone like me who wanted to be an astronaut as a little girl. I learned lots of cool things about air pressure and how planes and rockets fly and stuff like that.

Then it was evening.

Here is a picture that represents evening because it was evening when I took this picture:

Then I decided that I was hungry.

Here is a picture of some things as a synecdoche of the restaurant in which I ate food:

Then I drank something that was blue and then I was drunk.

Then I decided I was tired so I found a hotel that was really nice that was only $10 more than the Motel 6 (probably because there were like no people in D.C. that weekend.)

Here is a picture of the view from my hotel window:


The next day, I decided to go to another museum because the first museum was so awesome I figured I would really like to go to another museum. And boy, was I right! There were even more things to play with and learn and see at this museum! Let's play the game that's called: Guess the Name of the Museum I Went to Because I Wouldn't Want to Offend Anyone Who Believes that the World Was Created Only a Few Thousand Years Ago by Mentioning the Name of this Museum.

This museum had things like

An elephant:

The insides of a turtle:

And lots of fun facts:

I learned lots of other things like:
  • The clavicle is the last bone to finish developing--and doesn't stop in women until the age of 25!
  • I have really bad circulation

Actually, I already knew that last one, but it was proven because I saw myself in infared light and my hands were the same color as my nose (blue), and everybody else's hands were the same color as their torso (red).

Guess you couldn't say I was caught "red handed"...

Then I decided I was tired again because I had been riding everywhere on this stolen bicycle so I thought, gee, I wish there was something I could do where I could just sit and relax, so I went outside and I saw this:

But in front of that, there just so happened to be a parade and so I watched the parade.

Then I went back to NYC where, on my way home, some drag queens made me very happy by singing to me on the subway.